Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Emerald Dusk - Chapter three: Two of a kind

I think I must have blacked out after that because I woke up in a tent. There was no one around but I could hear guns, a lot of guns. I jumped out of bed and ran out of the tent. There was smoke and fire everywhere. I could not see five feet in front of me. I started walking towards what looked like a control tent. There was a few there from the plane that I recognized, including the guy who stopped Jade from jumping out.

-You’re Xander, right? Jade’s twin? I’m Rok, nice to meet you.

Rok held out his hand to me.

-Ya, I…

I was about to shake Rok’s hand and thank him but a gun was shoved in my hand and I was pushed to the side.

-Take this and head north.

I ran up the hill and stop dead in my tracks. There were bodies everywhere. Blood was all over the place. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. All I could smell was blood. My stomach started to turn. I was push forward again by someone behind me but this time I stumbled and fell to my knees. I was face to face with someone. That girl that was crying in the corner of the plane all alone, she was dead. From the looks of it, she did not suffer all that much. Not much of her body was left intact. My stomach turned again and I threw up. I got myself together and got up. I looked around again and saw Rok not too far ahead. I ran to catch up with him. He was lying on the ground in a ditch. I laid down beside him and to a look around. From where we were, the smoke was less thick and I could see where we were. It looked like a post apocalypse town. Buildings where half burned down and the streets were full of broken glass and metal. All the stores had nothing left inside like they had gotten robbed.  

-Wwhat happened here Rok?

-Not a clue man, but I over herd the general say something about bio-hazards. Didn’t hear much else though.

-Bio-Hazards? Like military weapons and things like that?

Rok didn’t have time to answer. There was a big blow to the left of us and I could not see or hear anything. I’m guessing it was a bomb or something but there was smoke all over the place again. The green hue to the sky was turning darker with all the smoke and fire in the air. I tried to get up but I was so disoriented from the smoke that I stumbled back down. Rok handed me something.

-Put this on you head, you’ll be able to breath and see.

It was a bio mask. They had handed some out to the cadets but had skipped me because of my face to face with the corpse. I put it on and right away I could breathe easy. But I did not like being able to see things that the smoke was hiding. There was even more bodies then I thought.   I did not even know that was had so many cadets that were shipped out. They must have come from somewhere else. Our town did not have the population to produce such a mass pile of people. It was weird because we were told we were the only town left over still at war. I notice that some of the others had a blue scarf tied on their arm. Some had a red helmet. We had green masks. We all had something different to identify each other. I looked up at Rok he was smiling and ready. I could tell that he would not be doing this the easy way. He got up from the ditch and started running. I followed as fast as I could. He started shooting but I could not see who he was targeting. So I started shooting in the same general direction. We finally found a building that was decent. I opened the door as Rok hand my cover. We got in and closed the door behind us.

-Who were you shooting at?

Rok looked at me like I was stupid.

-You did not see them?

Something banged on the door. It was so loud. I was starting to think that the door might explode off and we would be dead in a matter of seconds. Then it stopped and the door opened. It was Jade. I was never happier to see her.

-JADE!! You’re ok.

But she looked off. She had a look in her eyes that made me worry. She looked up at me and smiled a wicked grin. It looked weird on her innocent face.

-Hey Xander, why are you so surprised to see me? Did not think I would make it?

She sounded different too. She had a bitter tone o her voice and she looked mad.

-Jade, what’s wrong?

-I’m feeling fine Xander, just great. In fact, I’ve never felt better.

Then just like that she was gone out the door as quick as she came. I got to the door to close it but stopped in shock at what I saw. The door was not opened with the handle but busted through. Jade could not have done that, she was not strong enough. So how did she get in? The lock and handle were broken off.

-What the fuck, how did she do that?

Rok was looking at me like I was supposed to know and explain everything.

-I don’t know, she must have an adrenaline rush buzz or something.

I told him that but I did not believe it, there was something about Jade that was different then this morning on the plane.

I closed the door by blocking it with some scrap metal and started looking around the building we were in. It looked like a lobby to a hospital or a clinic. There was a big desk and a door behind it. I jumped over the desk and tried the door. Of course it was looked. I banged on it a few times then I heard I big bang and the door knob blew up. I turned to see Rok aiming his gun at the door. At least his shot opened the door and missed me. I pushed the door and backed up. I took off the mask right away and took a deep breath. The air was so fresh


All I could see what white, a color I could only remember in my dreams now. There was a long hallway and doors along the sides. All was clean and dust free. I had never seen anything like it. There was no trace of green anywhere. I had to cover my eyes with my hands at first. It was so bright. At the end of the hall was a big metal door with a bio-hazard sign on it. I started walking down the hall. Rok was screaming at me to come back. I could hear more banging on the front door and Rok shooting a lot.

-Rok, come see this.

He got to the door behind the desk and saw the white hall and ripped off his mask. He looked mesmerized. He starting making his way around the desk and walked into the hall. But he did one thing wrong. He shut the door behind him. I ran back to him but the door was already locked. With the door knob shot off the door was locked shut. We were stuck in there.

-Holy shit, why is it so bright in here?

Rok had his eyes completely covered by his arm. I continued my way to the final door at the end of the hall.

This time the door was unlocked. I took the handle and turned it.

Behind the door was a gigantic dark lit room. There was these clear egg shaped orbs hanging off the ceiling. I walked up closer to the nearest one.

-What the fuck is this place? What the hell are those?

-Rok, stop screaming, someone will hear us.

I would have screamed or maybe fainted but my blood was pumping with adrenaline. I did not understand what I saw. Those orbs were pods and in those pods were bodies. They were hooked up with tubes and had a bunch of metal on their skin. They looked like half man half metal machine.

I got real close to one and felt the egg. As soon as I touched it, the body inside came to life and started moving around. Then it looked straight atme. I backed up and started to scream. Rok ran over and put a hand over my mouth.

-Shut up dude, we’ll get caught!

-What the fuck is going on? What..wh..

I pointed up at the egg and Rok looked up to see what I wanted him to see. The egg with the moving body was still looking at us and Rok finally understood why I was freaking out.

-Is that..how can you….is that…

-Ya, Rok,..it’s a clone… it’s me.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Hell of a change

Hello kids!!!

I grew up these past few months and here is why…

If I think about what I wanted to be when I was a child, not much comes up. I don’t remember having a concrete idea of what I wanted. Unlike some of my friends, I had no clue. So I made up ideas like doctor or lawyer. I never wanted to be these things but I never knew what I wanted either. At least I don’t recall having those thoughts. So I imagine not really having that ambition when I younger. I was too busy being a kid. During high school I always struggled with my grades. Even in grad school I had trouble keeping up. It’s a wonder I never failed my years but when high school started I failed twice. Looking at me you would have never known but I was devastated. I tried so hard in school but I was a follower. When I turned 16 I asked my parents if I could go to adult ed. I thought that being more in control of my own things would make me more mature and better in school. Boy was I wrong! I definitely followed others to much and after about 2 months I got kicked out. I went back but this time they did not have the time to kick me out, I just quit after a month.

I eventually met someone, moved out of my parents place and got a full time job. Ah man, that was the beginning of mistakes over mistakes. I eventually came back home. Got a government job and things were starting to look up. But of course, it did not last too long. I met someone, again, and moved out, again, three years later I finally woke up from my slumber. I did not just wake up a fell out of bed and into reality.

Something happened that changed everything. I look a that world in a completely different way.

The first this I did was quit smoking cigarettes after almost 10 years. I did it cold turkey. I give all the props to one special person who helped me do it. My Grandmother, god rest her soul, had a stroke this past summer and it scared me straight, literally! After an epic 110 days in intensive care, she decided that she had done enough in her long life and left us for a better place.

Let me tell you a bit about her. She was Gisele Ryan-Aubin, better known as Mimi! She was the ultimate grams. She would come over every Sunday afternoon and gave me chocolate bars. As i grew up, the chocolate turned into money and eventually beer! Lol She hate when people wore the color red, don’t know why. She did not like it when someone whistled after 6pm, it was bad luck apparently. She loved African violet plants. She made a mean Bloody Caesar that would put anyone on there ass. (Pardon my French) She use to yodel as a younger girl. I never did get to hear her sing, but I do now when I dream of her. She loved and gave and lived for everyone else. She was an awesome mother, grandmother and great grandmother.

Since her pacing, I have taken a completely different route in life that I had planned. I moved back to parents and I’m planning on staying here for a while. I am going back to high school to finally finish what I started and I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. I am going to University to get a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities and eventually maybe become a writer.

I never looked back at the life I gave up. I did not run away from my problems but simply learned to face a bunch more. I have changed so much about myself in the past three months. I will live on to go to school, get a career and eventually maybe even start a family.

All of this is because of one great woman that was present in my live. Without even knowing it, she saved me from the mess I was. If I grow up to be at least a fraction of what this woman was, I’ll be happy. She is my inspiration, my push, my drive, my fuel, my fire and my guardian angel. I can only hope that I will live up to her expectations and make her proud.
 I now know that when I grow up, I want to be all that I can be and give all that I can. Love all that I can love. Live all that I can live.
I carry you with me for always.

Thank you Mimi for being you and making me who I am today.


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Bitches are crazy!!

Warning: Contents will include rude humor, sexual content and coarse language. Reader discretion is advised!!

Hello Kids!!
This one is all about the CRAZY. The crazy girls that is! This came as an idea to me a few weeks back after having a conversation with a co-worker (who we will call Mr. X). After a long weekend he basically stumbled into work on Monday morning looking like his pillow was still on his face. We went for coffee and he told me about his horrible horror of a weekend getaway with his wife. She totally destroyed any chance of them having a good weekend within the first minute of checking into their hotel.  Any who, I really don’t want to go into the specifics of what happened to make the nice gentle girl into a rabid beast but here is what happens when a bitch goes crazy.

I stole this from Barney Stinson from “How I met your mother” but he is totally right about this.  So it’s called the Hot VS. Crazy graph and it’s pretty straight forward. The hotter the girl the crazier she will be. Guys, you basically want to stay away from the crazy section all together even is she’s at the top  of the  chart hot because she will be a fucking nut case.  Please believe me and save yourself the stress, grey hairs and months of arguing instead of sex. I know a few hot/crazies and they are the worst girlfriend/friend/fuckfriend a guy could ever be stuck with.

She will suck up to your Dad in a weird flirty way that will actually make you think your Dad is hitting that and they would hate fuck the shit out of your buddies the second you turn around. But she will go all Crazy eyes on you the second you two have sex. You will no longer be able to breathe without feeling guilty.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not trashing the crazy bitch because I’m jealous in a weird way (what kind of sick person would be?!) I’m simply voicing it out because as a girl we also get some of this crazy bitch action from our crazy friend. If you, the guy, decide to not answer your phone and we are the lucky one in sight….*sigh* we get to hear all of the “What the Fuck”…”where the hell is he”…”he better not be with that slut Britney”… I hope he knows how much trouble he’s in”… I’m sure he forgot all about me and is having a blast while I worry about where he is”…The list of complaints is endless. You would think that after about an hour of redial and filling up on your voice mail that she would give up… HAHAHHA, no you do not get off so easily and neither do we. She will run to FACEBOOK and stalk all you friends to see if anyone has tagged you somewhere. Then BINGO, you are in major shit. You best bud just tagged you in his status update: “WAOH, That was a fucking amazing night, “insert your name here” can do some fucked up shit.”

Shit has hit the fan in her mind. You probably went to the club, got into a fight, went to the strippers, got a trillion dances, then took a hooker home and banged her in front of all your friends!

But let’s face it your bud was pretty totalled himself that night. After a few poker games and a few to many beers, you guys walked back home and peed on a hobo. (In my opinion, still a fucked up thing to do, but much better than the fairy tale that bitch has in mind). So after seeing the facebook shit maker, she decided to write you a very public, very bitch/crazy message directly on your facebook wall. “Douche bag, what the fuck??? I hope you had fun tonight and that it was worth loosing me”……… 14 hours later, you wake up to pee smelling pants and a hell of a wake up message form the hot mess you said was great! After about three days of arguing, her crying, yelling, maybe even slapping you she will go through about 20 emotions, alot that you won't even know existed. She will cry, laugh, scream, fall on the ground and do a fit like a five year old... she will pull out all the tricks to make you apolagize... funny thing is most of you do..

So that is what happens behind the scene when a hot/crazy shit looses her shit because she is just simply fucking retarded.

My biggest question out of all of this is…

Why the fuck do the guys stay with them. The sex must be mind blowingly, brain smashingly awesome to put up with that. Let me know because I’m at a loss….

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Emerald Dusk - Chapter two: Crying out loud.

I turned around to look at my mother one more time. I had made the same promise as Brody. “I’ll write to you as soon as I can”. I don’t know when that will be but I will not break my promise. There were solders everywhere. The helicopters where making it very hard to hear the sergeant screaming at me. The line we are in starts to move fast and we all jog for the nearest cargo plane. Once on the plane and strapped in, I look out to my home. I see Flow standing there with Brody’s sweater held tightly in her arms. She must see us, because she starts waving at my sister and I. Jade turns to me: “Do you think mom will be o.k. alone?” I look at my sister and see that she is worried for our mother. ”She has been talking care of us since Dad died, she will be more than good with us out of her way, she can relax now.”  “Ya, we have been a lot to handle, I wish we would have made it easier on her”

Just then I heard a big crashing sound and the plane rocked back and forth. I could only see smoke and fire. The sergeant in charge of our group told us to keep a tight hold and that we would be out of the smoke in a few minutes. I tried not to breath in the smoke but all I could do was gasp for air as I tried to see what was blown up outside the plane. We got up high enough that the air around us cleared but we still could not see the town bellow us.  

I leaned back and relaxed a little. The plane stayed level and we stopped swaying. I started looking at the other recruits on board. There were 12 of us in total. Some looked terrified. One girl was sitting alone in a corner far away from everyone crying. Another boy is standing close to the ledge of the door looking down with a hopeless look on his face. Close to this boy is a girl, she looks like she’s making a run for the door. JADE!!! GET BACK HERE.”  She was running for the open cargo door in the back of the plane. Luckily the boy standing on the ledge caught her and pinned her down. Jade is frantic. She is kicking and screaming at the boy to let her go. I get to her and hold her on my arms tight: “What were you thinking, jumping out??? I thought you were ready for this. I though you wanted to go to war??”

“MOMMA!!!!!” Jade is clutching my back so hard I can hardly breathe. I don’t understand why she is freaking out. She always said she was ready. Why did she doubt herself now? Jade doesn’t stop fighting me: “let me go you fucking idiot, MOM!!!” She spits at my face and hits me in the ribs. I lose grip on her. She runs to the ledge and lies down on her stomach. Her head is hanging out the back of the plane as she cries out. My heart is torn as I look at my sister. She was so strong just a few minutes ago. Yet, she is not jumping out of the plane like I’m anticipating. “MOMMA!!!!!” Jade turns and looks at me. Her eyes a filled with tears. “XANDER, you fucking prick, this is all your fault. If you would have been smarter, you would have found us a better hiding spot and we would not have left mom, I HATE YOU. It’s all your fault” I start getting an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I make my way to my sister and kneel down. She starts to hit me again and throws a good punch straight at my face. I am amazed at her force and stumble to the floor with my head only inches from the opening. It took me a minute to realize and understand what I’m seeing.

I understood it all right then. My shitty hiding place, our home, is nothing more the rubble. This was all my fault. My mother just died and it was all my fault.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Emerald Dusk

This is my first posting of my short story. I have a projet i call: A picture is not worth a thousand words.
A friend submitted this picture and a scince fiction theme to it. i started to write and this is chapter 1.

(note: This was suppsoe to be a small short story, but from what it looks like, i think it will be bigger.)

Chapter One: At War.

In 2050, the human population almost went extinct. World War three was short lived; however when the fourth broke out, it never finished. The world is not the same as it was before. One big accident happened during WWIII that they covered up. No one knows why but everything in the sky turned green. The sun never shined the bright way ever again. It looked like dawn or dusk all the time, with a sickening green look to everything. Soldiers were recruited as of the age of 18, whether you wanted to or not. Girls and boys alike were forced to go. As the years went by, the human population got smaller and smaller. The reason for this war was a mystery to the soldiers and their families.

My mother; Flow, my sister; Jade and my older brother Rory all lived together. My dad passed away in WWIII. Rory was the first one recruited to go to war 7 years ago. After promising to my mother he would write to her, we never got any news. Four months after he left we got a letter in the mail for the authorities that Rory was lost at war. It came with his sweater and dog tags. After that happened my mother got so scared of the day my sister and I turned 18 that we went into hiding. Our hiding place was not very good. The authorities found us after just two days. We were sent to the camps. The camps are where families with 15 years old children go until they turn 18. We made this place our home until it was time to move on.

I wake up to my mother shaking me franticly. Her screams are deathening. “MOM, what’s wrong?” From what I can see though our only small window, it’s still dark out. “Xander, you will be late if you don’t get ready”.  I get up from my bed on the floor and roll up my sleeping bag. Jade, my twin sister is already up and ready to go. She’s been ready since Rory left. My mother is pacing the floor with her arms crossed over her chest. I can tell she has something in her hands. It’s Rory’s dog tags. She has a sad, worried look on her face. Jade is looking at me like I’m the slowest person in the world. “If you are slow like that out there, you’ll die as soon as we get to where we are going; you’re like a fucking standing target” My mother shoots her a nasty look and my sister apologizes to my mother for swearing. I eat a bowl of hot oatmeal and get dressed. My mother and sister watch me. I feel them getting anxious so I hurry up. Before I know it, I’m hugging my mother goodbye and walking out the door with my sister. Little do I know this would be the last time I see my mother.

My name is Xander Steel; my twin sister and I turn 18 today. We are going to War.

Friday, November 4, 2011


Hello Kids!!

So basically this entry is all about how I’m a hazard to myself and making fun of that. I consider myself as “moderately clumsy”. I do not fall a lot but my shoe tends to find any and ALL little small cracks in the ground to trip over. It’s like my feet have radars under them to locate those damn bumps or maybe I’m just heavy footed. I do not shuffle my feet when I walk cause well, let’s face it, that’s just annoying. I am trying to convince myself more then you that I am not clumsy. Here are a few things that happened to me that prove me wrong…because let’s face it; I am clumsy.

I fall down stairs a lot. Probably more than the recommended dose. LOL.  Once, I was late to go to school and was going down the stair faster than I should with my giant blue monkey slippers. I missed a step or one jump out from under me (damn those moving steps LOL) and I saw the concrete basement floor coming at an alarming speed. Thank god I was quick enough and put my hands and arms over my head. The floor put up a good fight but I go away with just a few bruises.
 That time was not so bad I was older, use to falling and I knew how to do it with grace and dignity, but when I was younger, one moment will forever be in my mind or at least in the back of my throat.
FYI, this one has disaster written all over it
I was maybe 8 years old and I thought that I was the bomb playing the flute. No not the really cool big flute or the one you play holding sideways, not even one of those really cool wooden ones that sound just awesome. Nope, just the boring plastic flute.
I was playing the flute in my room being super awesome when I had the brilliant idea to get up to do something outside my bedroom (bad idea number one). I got up from my bed and walked around my room to the door while playing the flute (bad idea number two). I can to the door to find it closed *sigh*. Not wanting to stop playing the flute, I just did it “no hands style” (bad idea number three).
 I kept playing the flute while using one hand to open the door and the other doing nothing just for the heck of it (bad idea number four). In one stupid move I opened the door and walked out of my bedroom. Only I never made it out without one huge obstacle. The door frame jumped out at me like it was King Kong and the flute went right where it was aligned to go. Up my mouth and jabbed me in the back of the throat. Now keep in mind that I’m 8 when this all happened. I start to freak out since I’m having a hard time breathing. You see, when I jammed that flute down there, I basically poked at my air vent hard enough to block off the air and more me go into panic mode. I finally get enough air in my lungs to scream a horror movie award winning scream that makes my mom run up the stairs like she’s Rocky.
Too much freaking out happens because the only reason I can’t breathe is because I keep screaming. Cry, cry, cry, I finally calm down and all is fine. I do however have the scar of the evil flute on the back of my pallet.
So to conclude,
I have made a list of places or situations where you do not want to find yourself (or me for that matter) in order to avoid falling and being a hazard to your body. These are in order last one is the mother of all hazardous places.
5- Elevator vs. floor: You know some elevator and floors just don’t add up. One is higher than the other and it’s an accident waiting to happen.
4- The crack in the side walk: they say “Don’t step on the crack or your break your momma’s back” I say screw the sidewalk, keep to the streets at least the cracks there are filled with that black rubber thing.
3- Wet floor signs: Those are just bad news. For me, these signs are just a warning that I WILL fall. I get all tens and then I slip. I hate the man with the mop but I hate this sign even more.
2- Any kind of stairs: I get why they were created and I do appreciate them, they do make going up so much easier but do they have to make them so hazardous and weird. They should all be actually the same. Why some people have those circular ones, i will never underatnd. No small or big steps. ALL the same would be great thank you!

 1-    A bridge. Is there really much more needed to say besides that fact that a lot of them have guard rails to keep us from falling off (and the occasional jumper from doing what he came to do). They are accidents waiting to happen, just keep clear of these
Next post title: Girls are crazy
Pieces fall into place like the Domino effect.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Who am I?

Hello Kids!!

In my first entry i told you about the 5 basic questions that i think are the foundation of who a person is. I will not waste time and get to it. No point in dilly dallying!! (That’s my fun way of saying procrastinate, which by the way I hate!!!!)

Question 1: What is my favorite color?
Well, I would love for this to be a short and sweet answer but it won’t. Colors are the base of everything and everyone we know on this earth. It’s the first thing we see in the morning when we open our eyes to the last thing we still see when we shut them. Now the first thing I want to say is that I do not discriminate against colors. Black and white are colors just as much as purple and green. Usually when you ask someone about their favorite color they know right away and they’ve known since they were a kid. Then you have the awkward person that will say (imagine emo voice) “my fav color is black, because it’s dark like me” lol .What I’m trying to say is that people will usually associate their favorite color with their personalities. Example: A bubbly person will probably say their Favorite color is Yellow or orange, as for the girly girl will chose Pink and well of coarse the big tough guy will have blue as his favorite color. But I truly think that our personalities and our favorite colors have nothing in common. Our favorite color might have a deeper connection to us then we think. It may just be the first color our brain registered as a baby, or the color of our parent’s pajamas. I think we are programmed to like certain colors and hate others. Everyone has them. They are usually the least fortunate of the colors. The brown, sick green or that weird color between yellow, green and brown that everyone calls “
chameleon” (I personally don’t get that one). So all of this to say that I really do not have a specific favourite color but if I had to pick out a winner and clearly point out the loser I would put lime green and deep purple at the top of my list. The sad looser in this contest for me is mustard yellow… it just seem a bit off beat and like if it’s not feeling to well. Who would want that color anywhere??(Except on a smoked meat sandwich!!)

Question 2: What are my favorite movies?
Hands down the best movie I have seen is “The Wizard of Oz” (WARNING to all the haters… I will cease to be your friend). This movie is forever in my heart for so many reasons I just don’t know where to start. Here is my interpretation of the movie and what I believe is the message they want to pass around. Being a young girl, as I was myself once (young…ahhh how I miss it), Dorothy Gail, a small girl for Kansas hopes for a live outside of the ordinary “blas” of living in a farm house. After a MEGA TORNADO hits her home Dorothy is transported to her dream place, a place of wonder and excitement. However, as intrigued as she is, Dorothy almost immediately wants to go back home. She goes on this amazing journey all the way back home. All of this to basically make her realize that there really is no place like home, even after getting the perfect thing she had always dreamed about, she realized all she ever could dream of was right there, right in her own back yard. The moral of the story is (for me anyways) be content with what you have, you will realize that better things are usually not what they seem. I do have several other favorite movies but I’ll keep that for another posting.

Question 3: What do i want to do with my life?
This is a BIG question for a lot of people. Some of you have been asking yourself that question since 6th grade. Others are not quite ready to face that one yet. Whichever one of these people you are, remember one thing there is a reason why you know or don’t know that answer. I, personally, am in the question right now. I know what you are thinking “But, wait, you can’t be IN a question” I say, that’s poppycock!!! Lol I am in the middle of answering that question in this precise moment in my life. When I was about 5 I wanted to be a singer. When I was 10, I think I wanted to be a Vet. At the age of 15, I wanted to be an adult. By the age of 20, I craved being a kid again. Pretty ironic. Now I know that when I was younger I had no real clue to what I wanted out of life. No really notion of what my actions and decision would bring me to later on. All I know now is that I have ambitions and plans of a few things.

Here are a few of my goals at the moment.

Number 1: Finish my high school ~ Dear 15 year old me, screw you for not listening to EVERYONE who told you to finish your high school.

Number 2: Get in shape ~ Not just loose the few extra pounds, but really get in shape and do things like marathons, maybe one day a triathlon or maybe just maybe a Spartan race (yes right, BIG dreams). Get more into boxing and sparring (two things I have sparked a new interest in lately and loving it more and more).

Number 3: Do more photography ~ Get a bunch more lenses and other tools of the trade. Set up a small studio in my basement and create and put out my first portfolio before December 2012. This may not seem like a big task but for me it’s a passion I did not peruse for a long time. I have great talent in this hobby that I take after my Dad and I am forever be grateful that he picked up a camera when he was younger.

I do have more that you will get to know eventually.

Question 4: Who is my inspiration?

I have three at the moment. At the top of my list is my mother. Through all the life struggles that faith decided to throw at my mom, she crash threw them and persevered.

My Mimi. My Grams, Grama, My meema, you will forever be in my heart. You were the happiest person I knew. I look up to you in hopes that one day I can be just a fraction of the super awesome person you were and will always be in my heart. I love you. R.I.P. xox

Gina Corano. No more needs to be said. If you don't know who she is, google her.

Question 5: Do i believe in love?
This question…….ohh how I have been dreading this question… I really hate this question. I will explain something about me for you to understand how I feel about love. I am a hopeless romantic, a wanna be princess in all the Disney movies, the damsel in distress in all the old black and whites. I fall in love with falling in love. I cave the feeling of bliss and crazy heart pitter patter. I fall hard and when I fall I bring down a lot with me. What I mean is that I tend to lose myself in the love and guy that I’m with. I become that person. I am not saying I am fake. Some people say that in order for a couple to work you have to be willing to make sacrifices in life and love. Well I’m all too willing to sacrifice. I have done things for love I will never be able to take back. I do not regret these things because they have made me who I am today (which by the way I think is pretty awesome!!) I believe in love so much that I expect it to be just like in the movies. That is why right now I do not believe in it anymore. I broke up with love a few months back. It was the best break up ever! Lol Don’t get me wrong, love is out there, I see it one my parents every day or in my grandparents when that bicker at each other. But right here right now for me, love is on vacation down south and I’m in the North Pole. We are too far apart to even be sure the other one is there.

So there are my answers to the 5 basic questions you should always know about people you care about.

Next post title: Hazard

Pieces fall into place like the Domino effect.